Stupidity
Every week, I anticipate the beginning of my journey to intelligence because every week I am confronted with my own stupidity. I have read multiple times that the first step to acquiring knowledge and becoming brilliant is realising that you do not know anything. However, I was not even a little bit brilliant enough to understand that, in tandem with that I must be humble enough to accept the fact without much shame and hardworking to search for this knowledge that I lack.
I have had the attitude for a long time that intelligence is something that would fall upon me. Clearly, I did not realise that when you are confronted with the fact that you are not intelligent, or brilliant, you should, to an extent, distrust yourself until you are exposed to more experiences and information. To be truthful, I lacked humility to let the knowledge come. I instead saw the acknowledgement of my stupidity as a way to posture myself above others. As though smartness is something only in my reach (and it is not even). As though only I am on this journey.
I really hope, in my twenties, that I move past this stagnancy. I know that we, as people, are never done learning. We are never done realising that we do not know a lot, but it feels like I have not grown to know anything for a very long time. Like I have not been able to acquire knowledge from anywhere I have sought it, like I am unable to get any more intelligent than a piece of dung dropped on the road from a cow's ass.