Money talks
Yesterday, my cousin came to visit (she is such a lovely person) and, while in conversation with her and my elder brother, my brother says that the most important thing to him in life is making money. That my father has groomed all of us to believe that being rich is the most important thing in life. While I will not deny that that is often touted in my home, I am so pained that this message has been accepted by my three brothers. My father believing that making money is one's main purpose or biggest concern as a human being is one of the problems with our family, in my opinion. I am just sad that my brothers did not see what a cancer it was.
I am even sadder to see the way it causes them to live lives so empty. My younger brothers refuse to live openly, because they are deathly afraid of spending too much money. My elder brother prioritises profit and status over most else. It is worrying.
What worries me most is myself, and whether I too will give in to this thinking. I would like to tell myself I do not care for wealth, but I do not understand what it means to live without the privilieges I have been afforded so I am scared. I am scared that when faced with a true test, the true colours of mine that will emerge are no different from my brothers. That I am merely a self-proclaimed righteous person with no act to back it up. A fear that I have as my shadow is that all my values are not mine truly.